Fake News All the Muck thats fit to Rake

President Obama left last weeks debate feeling the he had in fact been the winner. According to sources he was also surprised to learn that he did not win the Nobel Prize for Chemistry, the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy or the Gold Medal in the 1000 meter Freestyle.

Proof of Miracles occurred last week when 30,000 watched President Obama speak at Bascom Hill a grassy area on the Campus of UW Madison that is able to hold less than 10,000 people.

The Vice Presidential Candidates continued to prepare for this weeks one and only debate between them. Paul Ryan prepared by reviewing the facts of Romney and Obama's various plans and arguments, while Joe Biden prepared by attending several "12 step" encounter sessions.

Mitt Romney continued to ignore attacks from the left regarding his decision to skip "Kids Pick the President" and his desire to cut PBS funding. In response to the criticisms the campaign released this statement:

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Presidential Mask Sales have been considered a predictive indicator of the eventual winner for the last 4 cycles. Due to the accuracy and reliability of the results Presidential Masks sales will now replace polls conducted by CNN, CBS and MSNBC.