Science: An engineer has produced plans to build a functional Starship Enterprise using today's technology. President Obama was asked what he thought of the proposal to which he responded "That looks like something really cool for the Russians or Chinese or some country with a Space Program. Maybe someday the United States will be able to launch a man into space, I do envy those technologically advanced nations."
Economy: In order to avoid the crushing debt that is imposed upon successful people in the United States, Eduardo Saverin has renounced his US Citizenship and moved to Singapore. In a statement released just prior to the Facebook IPO he said: "Do you have any idea how much it costs to be rich in America? I just can't afford it anymore."
Republican Primary: Texas Congressman Ron Paul called Governor Mitt Romney to congratulate him on his landslide win in the Nebraska and Oregon Primaries Tuesday Night. Romney responded "Huh, What? Who are you and how did you get this number?" The Governor reportedly spent the night underlining passages from "Dreams of my Father" to use in future campaign ads.
WI Recall: An anonymous blogger has cross referenced the recall petitions with the state back tax roll and found over 17 million dollars owed by those wanting Scott Walker out of office. Democrats were enraged by the invasion of public and open records that allowed for this discovery.
President Obama: Website Observers noticed that President Obama had added a fact and his name to the Official biography of many former presidents. When asked for comment he stated: "I like to take the time to remind everyone exactly how wonderful I am. Also it's MY website Bitches so back off. I can put any damn thing on there I feel like, and there is NOTHIN you can do about it. Keep on my back about it and I will change Reagan's bio to say he cheated on Nancy with Tip O'Neil."
Education: The First Daughters claim their father is "Embarrassing but not too embarrassing" thus highlighting the fact that even the President's children are unable to get a decent education in this nation as if they had any real understanding of what he was doing they would hang their heads in shame at all times. When asked for comment their teacher responded: "I feel as though I have let them down, but I just do not have the resources to teach basic math, current events or history anymore. On the upside; the Obama girls aced their latest quiz on 'African American Lesbians and their impact on society' so at least they are learning something."
Entertainment: 3 Fisherman get scared when a large fish jumps into the boat. An easily distracted population of Internet users gladly watch the video while waiting for the Diablo 3 servers to come back on line. Observers believe that if not for videos like this as well as a large number of still functioning adult websites that the millions of people who called in sick on Tuesday in order to play the much waited for game would have had to go to work. That particular disaster was avoided.
FNN- 100% error 37 free
(Have you found the Easter Egg yet?)
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