Philadelphia: John Hancock was removed from the continental congress chambers today after repeatedly signing his name in an overly large manner on various documents. "He took up the whole page! I was like "dude! leave some room for the rest of us!" - Thomas Jefferson
London: Nothing important happened here today.
General Washington: The general was seen spending a rare day off, locals claim that he was witnessed not chopping down cherry trees all day.
Paul Revere: was interviewed in "Silver Smithing Monthly Magazine" he stated that he was anxious to help no matter how the congress voted claiming "Hey, with a name that rhymes as easily as 'Revere' all I have do to is help a little and I will be sure to be famous. Just think of what that would do for business"
Continental Congress: After hours of debate the phrase "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" was selected over the much less popular "Demand for a government that can force the populace into purchasing anything; health insurance for example, by simply imposing massive taxes on failing to purchase the item. Just as the King is currently doing with the purchase of English Teas." The representative of possible Kenyan decent was very disappointed.
Colonial Militia: Volunteers from France begin training the militia into an organized fighting force. Although proper surrender techniques were covered more than other topics, discipline and readiness improve.
Boston: Notoriety surrounding the destruction of the tea 3 years ago has lead those involved to confess that getting drunk dressing in furs and feathers and dumping the tea into the harbor was not in fact an act of defiance against the crown. It was in fact an attempt to join a newly opened gentleman's club.
Happy Independence Day from FNN
No comments:
Post a Comment