The NFL Announced that it would be standing behind "the call" that gave the Seattle Seahawks the win over the Green Bay Packers. In a written statement the league declared that the call was due to outrage over the "Innocence of Muslims" trailer and that the replacement refs could not be held accountable for their actions.
Mitt Romney Released his 2011 tax returns proving once and for all that reporters on most news shows have no idea how taxes work.
President Obama Addressed the UN Stating that the "future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam" he went on to mention that "while insulting other religions is bad, Christians and Jews rarely blow shit up so it is not so bad to insult them but leave the Muslims alone, m'kay"
Preparations are under way for the first Presidential debate to be held in Denver on 10/03/2012. After tense negotiations between the 2 campaigns the format and rules were decided upon. Edged and blunt weapons will be allowed but no firearms. The stage will be in closed in a 4 sided cage with no roof. Vice Presidents will not be allowed to tag in. A Romney spokesperson who declined to be named stated "Obviously we did not get everything we wanted, but we feel the debate rules will allow for a fair and vigorous discussion of the topics."
Darwinian Law was questioned this week when 5 teenagers in western Wisconsin survived setting off illegal fireworks inside a moving vehicle. Dr. Bradly Whittacre commented on the situation: "We are seeing this happen more often, events that should be eliminating the unfit from the population are only causing injuries. These members are often allowed to return to the wild where they are able to reproduce and spread their traits. We are rethinking the entire concept of "natural selection" because of this."
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