Translate

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Breaking Fake News

Vice President Joe Bidden has vanished following Paul Ryan's nomination acceptance speech. The only clues at this time are a television with a remote lodged in the screen, A trail of damp tissues and a low sobbing noise from beneath the Vice President's Bed. This is a developing Story. More information when it becomes available.

Update: Secret Service Agents are still looking for the Vice President who has now been missing for nearly 10 hours. Doctors fear permanent saliva and suction damage to his thumb if he is not found soon.

Update: A ransom note of sorts has been found on the floor of the Vice Presidents bed Chamber. It reads in part: "Leave a fifth of whiskey and a bucket of chicken on the end table and close the door"  Analysts are inspecting the note now for any forensic evidence.

Update: Agents forced their way into the Vice President's room when they hear breaking glass. Upon entering they found a broken bottle of whiskey, an empty bucket of chicken and what appeared to be the Vice President's pants laying next to an open window.

Update: The Vice President was found in the woods near his home. He was naked and muttering the name "Paul Ryan" repeatedly. Experts disagree on whether or not he is as mentally fit as he was before the incident.

1 comment:

  1. "... as mentally fit as he was ..."

    A zillion updings!

    ReplyDelete