News? Maybe, I don't Recall

Scott Walker: Retained his position in an overwhelming victory. He immediately ordered all government employees executed, the schools burned and unwed mothers stoned to death. He then ordered the children of all recall petitioners to be eligible for the first annual "WI Hunger Games". Tom Barrett stated "See I told you so!" before being shot by his own campaign staff.

Union Leaders: The leaders of several unions in Wisconsin blamed the defeat of Barrett on the large amount of money spent by the Walker campaign. In a press release, the unions stated : "It is our position that the is too much money being spent by people other than us. We think a law limiting the amount of money spent by people who disagree with us is needed to prevent the public from voting against our best interests again in the future." Scott Walker promised to ignore the suggestion in the order in which it was received.

Mahlon Mitchell: The Democrat Candidate for LT Governor thanked his supporters and declared victory for himself and Obama and all Democrats everywhere.  He was then informed of the vote totals.

Eric Holder: Promised to look into the obvious voter suppression that occurred as only 65% of those eligible to vote did so, in addition the Democrat Candidate received fewer than the 1.2 millions signatures on the recall petitions. Holder Stated "Since we know those petitions were 100% legal, and accurate, the vote total must be off"

Protests: The protesters in Madison WI were informed late of the defeat of Barrett. They all dejectedly took their ball and went home, one was heard to say: "Whatever, I bet those grapes are sour anyway"

WI Teachers: Hundreds of thousands of teachers across the state of WI woke up in shock this morning at the sight of a glowing orb in the sky. After much debate and research the orb was determined to be "the Sun". The shock was attributed to the fact that many of the teachers assumed the Sun would never rise again after the Walker Victory.
Real News: It looks like my predictions were wrong, there will be no recount and no riots. I am going to sleep well knowing that our Republican form of government still works.

FNN : I reserve the right to add more mocking as news develops.